Elder Scotty- Alive and well!

I’m off to Colorado for a 3 day work trip, but I just heard from my dear friend Elder Scotty, who is serving an LDS mission in OK. Here is a paragraph from his last letter:

“I used to like dogs before my mission. Now I hate them.

I nearly got swallowed by a humungadunga german shepherd in the ghetto a few days ago. This HUGE unchained and uncollared dog tears out of a front yard after me on a bike (I was on the bike, not the dog), with a guttural growly bark and tail firmly planted in a fixed and unfriendly position. This wasn’t a “Look! Something fun to chase!” bark, it was a “MURDER DEATH KILL AAARGH!” bark. I was much more scared than the raccoon incident. I did the smartest thing, yelp and tear off quickly on the bike. I had to be rocking at 25+ MPH and the dog was right behind me, timing his head to the pedaling motion of my sweet, succulent calf. As proof that mercy is an operating law in the universe, after 300 yards the dog slowed off and went his way. Another 300 yards away was a brave, strikingly apathetic Lawton Police officer parked under the shade of a tree picking his nose, who was shocked to be bothered with such unimportant reports of a man-eating dog on the loose. I’m going to start carrying “strong enough for a man, but made for a dog” pepper spray. Or maybe a machete.”

I love this story for many reasons but a few of my favorite reasons are:
1- There was a raccoon incident not expounded on that really stimulates my imagination!
2-Scott used the adjective “humungadunga”
3- I can picture Scott in his missionary attire pumping his legs like crazy, tie flapping in the wind.
4- The police officer wasn’t eating donuts or talking to a fellow officer; he was picking his nose.

Thanks for the laughs Elder Scotty!